Chain Mail Mockery
by WeevilFanGirl
Summary: Ok this was inspired by a yugioh story i read basicly snape insults nevile which results in the entire wizzarding world getting in on the insult game...just read and youll understand latter there might be a bit of language so...yeah
1. Severus

**SEVERUS SNAPE**

**Ok yalls this here story is going to be my first Harry Potter story (posted). It was inspired by the yugioh story The Clothes Make The Spirit. This is basicly just a Harry Potter version of it (but we came up with our own insults) This takes place durring some random time period (it was suppose to be the summer between the third and fourth year but seening as there are charcters from latter years its just some random thing-a-ma-jig.) P.S. yall proff. Quirriel is a ghost cause hes awsome I do not own Harry Potter nor do i completly own this story IDEA i own 33 of this story because two of my friends are helping write it! ENJOY!**

**Severus Snape sat scilently stewing over something. (WOW try saying that 10 times fast .) That something...was a partucular student. A student who DARED to insult him in a way that no other student would even dare to think of insulting him! That student was none other... than Neville Longbottom.**

"How DARE that insolent little brat humiliate ME like that!" he said with a snarl suddenly breaking the scilence that had for so long absorbed him.

**No, Severus wasnt one to be forgiving and he had not forgotten about Neville imagining him in his grandmothers clothes.**

**"He will pay for this" Snape hissed to his self.**

Suddenly he had an idea! Sure it WAS a but childish, but he would be sure that Neville would never knew who it came from. This suddenly made Severus chuckle.

"That idiot wouldent know who sent this if i put a flashing neon sign on it saying _"SEVERUS SNAPE SENT YOU THIS!"_ on it!

**Whats sevy gonna doooo? well if youve read the clothes make the spirit you know if you havent then read on! please RnR **


	2. Neville

**Neville Longbottom**

**uhhh...well not much to say cause you all know what i do and dont own...my one friend has decied to stop helping me with this so it is now a 50-50 split of how much we own**

**Neville stared blankly in shock at the shirt that some owl he didnt reconize had brought him.**

_**Stupid Is As Stupid Does**_

**Thats what the red letters on the white shirt read.**

**"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?" he finally screamed scaring the owl so badly it fell out the window.**

**  
There was the sound of someone running up the stairs and the door burst open. There stood a woman who looked to be in her late sixties. She was wearing what one would assume was suppose to be a nightgown but it looked more like something that would make picasso's stomache turn jsut to give you an idea.**

**"Neville dear...its two in the morring what on earth are you screaming about?" she asked him.**

**"This Gran" he said picking the shirt up off the floor and showed it to her explaining what had happened.**

**"Well then Neville dear...either ignore it or parnk them back" she said like she really didnt care as she walked back off to bed.**

**Oh Neville would get them back alright...if he knew who sent it. Luckliy he had a veauge idea who would of sent it. It had to be a student...all the teachers liked him except for Snape but this seemed to childish to have been snape. Either way he knew only one person who would sign their name as "Slytherin King" **


	3. Draco

**DRACO MALFOY**

**Ummm ok people heres the thing i really LOVE Draco but ive noticed that its fun to make him act like an idiot sometimes and so thats why he is sort of a moron in this chapter.**

_**Any More Pretty And I'd Be A Girl...Wait...You Mean Im NOT?**_

**Draco glared at the black shirt with baby pink letters spelling out this horrible insult on it...hoping that if he sneered at it long enough he could scare it away. No avial.**

**After wasting about 10 miniutes of his life glaring at the shirt in attempts to get it to leave without any results he threw it across the room and it landed on some innocent house elfs head. Scicne he hadent "come of age" yet the shirt didnt really set the elf free...simply because it was technally his FATHER who was the the elfs master not him.**

**"Is it MY fault im naturally good looking" he huffed to his self slumping down onto a chair.**

**A portrit of some long gone Malfoy simply rolled his eyes at Draco who was completely missing the fact that the person w as implying that Draco was a girl, but found it best not to point this out to the boy.**

**"Ohh they'll pay for this" he said conjuring up what seemed to be a bumber sitcker out of thin air as he gave a menacing little laugh and started to shove it at the house elf.**

**"Make sure the new owl delivers this...hed reconize the eagle owl. Tell it to deliver this straight to the weasley"**


	4. Ronald

**Ronald Weasley**

**Yeah like i said this is SUPPOSE to be between the the 3rd and 4th year even though this insult is a refrence from the 5th book so...yeah...that just proves how completly random and stupid this story is. Yes I am aware that Flint wasent there durring the year this was sung but it was the best excuse i could think of.**

_**"Us Slytherins, we still all sing, that Ronald Weasley is our King!"**_

**Rons eyes had flames in them as he stared at the bumber sticker that some Eastern Screech owl had brought him. Suddenly in one out burst of rage he tore the adhesive backed peice of paper into confitti thus making a total mess out of it.**

**There had been rumors of a chain of insults going through out the wizzarding world and now Ron had gotten proof of it first hand.**

**"Wellll Flint if you think that im going to take this sitting down...your highly mistaken" Ron spoke to himself with a grin on his face that made him look more like Fred or George rather than hiself.**


	5. Flint

**Marcus Flint**

**First off sorry for the extended holiday but i had completely forgoten about this story. Second off im not sure if his name is correct or not but ive been on a harry potter withdrawl of late so meh. Third...uhh...fear the wrath of Foamy!  
**

_**"If im your king...then I order you to get a brain pesant"**_

**Flint had stared at the jester hat for at least 3 hours now, only just getting the fact that who ever had sent this silly thing... had obviously sent it to the wrong person.**

"king? i dont know any king..."

School was a long time ago to him therefore he had quickly fogotten Everything that had happened. It wasnt until he saw his name, which was for the most part all he could read due to A-the bad hand writting and B-his lack of intelegence dropped even worse durring summer break, clearly printed out across the envolope a burst of rage over came him as he tossed the already unconcious owl that had carried the hat across the room.

"well if i know anything i know the one person whos dumb enough to call themselves a king to me!"


	6. Oliver

**Oliver Wood**

**there is no comments because i said so except this---theres no specific time place ment...just randomness that happens at some random time period with all the characters  
**

_**"My broomstick is short small and slow...oh you mean what i fly on"**_

**  
Oliver glared at the broomstick sticker. Of course he was the butt of yet another sexual joke.**

"ITS BECUASE IM BI ISNT IT DAMNIT!"  


**It was a joke all arround school that Oliver Wood had a thing for the great harry potter, ok so mabey it was more then a joke. As he looked through his potter-filled room; to list a few things in it there were posters, pictures, even a all to anatomy-correct life sized figure of harry. he sighed to himself annoyed that he let everyone in school somehow find out his intrest in the younger boy.**

"I'll bet you anything its his damn pissy over protective godfather too!"

It was with these words the enraged wood sat down to plot against the so thought 'number one criminal next to you-know-who'. No one kupt him from his dreams, not even a convicted murderer.


	7. Snuffles uuuh I mean sirius

**Sirius Black**

**rawr  
**

_**"Im a flea ridden mongral, thats after i got out of jail"**_

**  
The large black dog known as Snuffles tore the offenesive colar to shreds in a moment as The boy prodigy known as Harry Potter sat on the couch stiffling back a laugh. The mutt glared at him bitterly growling annoyed**

"it wouldent happen if you wouldent stay like this you know. The ministry granted you pardon at leas 6 months ago" Harry just had to point out.

Slowly the dog to everyones not suprise transformed into none other then sirius black who had indeed been granted pardon and had taken on custody of Harry. To say the least he finaly looked healthy enough to be a normal human being.

"well mabey i like being a dog"

He grumbled flopping down onto a couch flipping on the telivision. Harry had taught him about the ways of the muggle world something he had highly regreted. grant it he had taken to it less flamboyantly then Mr.weasely had but his god-father had been spazing out over telivision more the his fat cousion dudley did. Mostly on anime. What scared him the most was when sirius would start yelling at the telivision.

"well think of it this way" Harry muttered trying to change the topic from the '5 Hour Naruto Marathon' that Sirius had been glued to. "we can make the ultimate prank now"

On that note sirus's eyes went wide and mischevious, knowing exactly who Harry ment.


	8. Lord Voldemort

**Lord Voldemort**

**dot dot dot  
**

**  
"PETTIGREW COME HERE NOW !!!"**

The trembling excuess of a man stood before his enraged master. "y...y...yes sir?"

"What.Is.THIS!?" he hissed pointing to his beloved snake Nangini. Written across the misrable looking serpents body was the following message in sharpie.

_'Mudbloods need social help. Squibbs need magic help. You...you just plain need help.'_

Peters face paled. He never thought this game would reach the dark lord. At least not this quickly anyway. After all who would have the right mind to insult him!?

"WHO HERE WAS RESPONSABLE FOR GAURDING HER WHILE I WAS OUT LAST NIGHT!?"

"m.m.Malfoy sir" he lied, praying to what ever god who would accept a rat like him that it was not a retorichal question and that Voldemort really didnt know the anwser to the question.

The dark lord paused. He had thought for sure it had been Pettigrews job last night. the again he had been so over worked of late that such a mistake wasnt inpossible to imagine. After all Peter knew all to well the consequences of lying to him.

"yes...yse of course" he muttered still trying to recall if it was true or not, seemingly calmed down now that the matter was preoccuping his mind. The dark lord after a awkward pause went to give Nangini a much needed bath, and then to find that slacker Malfoy  



End file.
